GET YOUR GEEK ON: What’s Next for the Innergeekdom Division?


It’s been about a week, and some of us have only just caught our breaths: Rachel “The Crusher” Cushing is the new Innergeekdom champion, and only the second-ever double-champion, after a devastatingly tense match with Mike “The Killer” Kalinowski. The hero has defeated the villain, The Crusher has achieved her multiyear ambition of ruling the Innergeekdom division, and for a moment… all seems right with the world.

And if you’re a fan of the Innergeekdom, you know that ain’t gonna last. Remember all those times they declared peace in Star Wars? It was only a matter of time before someone came along and started an all-new beef.

So the question we now ask ourselves is, what’s next for the Innergeekdom division, and its top flight players? Let’s take a look…

Rachel “The Crusher” Cushing

We’ve hit the point now where Rachel Cushing is almost indisputably, if not “the” GOAT, at least one of them. For a long time, many Schmoedown fans considered Dan Murrell and Samm Levine the top contenders for the title of “greatest of all time,” and The Patriots as the only team that qualified for the position, but Rachel Cushing has dominated across more divisions than any of them, and The Shirewolves are – and I’m speaking as someone who is scheduled to compete against them in the very near future – SCARY.

Rachel Cushing’s first Innergeekdom title defense is scheduled for Comic-Con 2019, in front of a live audience. In the meantime, The Crusher is scheduled to defend her title shot against Critically Acclaimed (yes, that’s me) and, if the Shirewolves pull out yet another victory (which is pretty likely), then there’s an excellent chance she’ll have yet another Teams title defense in her future ahead of Comic-Con, against the winner of the upcoming match between The Odd Couple and Who’s the Boss.

That, and the ongoing threat that she’ll rejoin the Singles division and become a triple-belt holder (which is highly plausible, since she’s highly ranked in Singles as well), could make Rachel Cushing the most intimidating competitor in Schmoedown history. But it could also make her vulnerable, because that’s a lot of pressure, and a lot of different leagues competing for her attention.

One thing is for certain, though: her Innergeekdom knowledge is practically limitless, and whoever challenges her at Comic-Con 2019 would have to be certifiably crazy.

Fortunately for the fans… there’s a lot of crazy in the Innergeekdom division.

Mike “The Killer” Kalinowski

There’s one thing we know about Mike Kalinowski: he knows his Innergeekdom trivia. After a rough start to his IG career he buckled down, did the research, and became a nearly unstoppable force in the division. Even his last two losses were down to the wire, down to the very last question, and in the case of his unsuccessful title defense, down to a single solitary letter.

What’s more, Mike Kalinowski is active. Some competitors slink into the shadows between matches, but Mike is regularly involved in multiple leagues and storylines. He may need to nurse his wounds a bit before he gets back into the Innergeekdom competition, but he’s not going far, and his fans are bound to see him back in the Teams division with his partner, Chance Ellison, as the promising up-and-comers KOrruption, and like Rachel Cushing, there is a chance he’ll be back in Singles sooner or later too.

Most importantly, Mike Kalinowski is hungry. Just minutes after his latest match against Cushing, he was promising fans that he’d be back to challenge her for the title at San Diego Comic-Con 2019.

But to get there, he’ll have to face a challenger, and no one in the Innergeekdom division looks more challenging than…

Kevin “The Smasher” Smets

Who the hell is Kevin Smets? This young upstart rose through the ranks of the fantasy leagues – the Schmoedown equivalent of the Minor League – and absolutely destroyed expectations with his stunning debut against David Moore (who also performed respectably, and could be a potential contender).

What’s more, Smets is one of those Schmoedown rookies who emerged with a fully-formed persona, and his persona is threatening as hell. Quiet and intense, like a Winter Soldier just pulled out of cryogenic stasis for one reason and one reason only… to win the Innergeekdom title.

Of course, it’s possible to have a dynamite debut and then fall from grace (hey there, it’s me, the guy who did that) but the Innergeekdom is a very specific division, with a limited number of motion pictures that can be used to generate questions. Smets is unlikely to get blindsided by a movie he’s never seen. Unless someone uncovers a mighty weakness in Smets’s game on his way to a title shot, he could have a relatively clear path to Comic-Con.

Then again…

Who’s Next in Line?

It’s easy to focus on just the top-ranked players in any division, but there’s talent all throughout the roster. Hector “Nightmare” Navarro is a former champion, and still highly ranked, so it seems likely that Kalinowski and/or Smets will have to compete against him in the near future, and he could very well pull out an impressive win and jump back into the title conversation.

And of course, you can’t have “NAVARRROOOOO!!!” without “The Captain” Robert Meyer Burnett, another former Innergeekdom champion who has recently emerged from his prison, and is on a mission of revenge with his new faction.

Adam “The Haymaker” Hlavac may not have had his best game lately, but he’s a contender for a reason and should never be discounted, and if Jared “Too Smooth” Haibon studies up a bit, he could make good on the promise he made in his multi-KO debut in the Innergeekdom.

Factor in some promising x-factors like Eric “Z-Man” Zipper and Keetin “Magic” Marchi and you’ll find that the Innergeekdom division is already pretty packed with talent.

Which is why we’re even more excited about…

The Next Generation

The Schmoedown is in the middle of one of the best rookie seasons ever, and Chairman Harloff keeps teasing that there’s more to come. Winston Marshall and Emily Rose Jacobson are already scheduled to make their debut later this month, and we know for a fact that Harloff is always sniffing around for new talent.

This time next year, it’s highly like that Rachel Cushing will still be Innergeekdom champ. And it’s also just as likely that the entire landscape of the division will be entirely different, with a lineup of hungry rookies vying for supremacy at the top of the ranks, and challenging all the beloved veteran competitors for the title of Innergeekdom GOAT.

The Innergeekdom division is charging up, and getting ready to fire. What do you think will happen next, and who do you think will be the next competitor to hold the title…?


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