MACHINE MONDAYS: “It Must Be Some Kinda… Schmoedown Time Machine”


Time Machine. So let’s talk about it.

Former champ and movie producer extraordinaire, Ethan Erwin will be my partner in my official foray into the teams division. How do I feel about teams, our chances and who do I wanna take on? Lots of things to think about. 

So while “Anarchy” was the “brain child” of my nemesis Mike Kali-Whatsisnuts, and ultimately Harloff because “KO” is just a pawn, it was responsible for breeding some very interesting pairings and planted the idea of me and Ethan as a duo. But scheduling just wasn’t on our side. As a full time singles competitor I never really gave teams much thought until then. While Brian Walton was fun to debut with, and our name was kick ass, I feel like Ethan and I would’ve been (and will be) more complementary and just the idea of this team up has gotten me hyped to join that division. Ethan is fairly well rounded with a good grasp on 80s and sci fi, while I’ve got rom coms and films of my gen in the bag and broadening my knowledge every day.

Who would we wanna face? Well of course the ultimate goal is facing whoever has those belts. Ethan is no stranger to taking on the best of the best in the league and I feel like I’ve proven I can hold my own, particularly being at the table with three former champs in Free 4 All 3. While we gotta have a few group meetings with the masterful Mr. Washington, for me personally, I’d love to take down “KOrruption,” there’s so much bad blood there. Whether it be taking down Stacy again with her mystery partner or my NY opponent and KO fan boy Chance with the white breaded bane of my Schmoedown existence Kalinowski. I also wouldn’t mind getting the chance at a little redemption against Bateman and taking on Who’s the Boss. I’ve thrown some big names out there, but just like day one, I have no issue working my way up the ranks in teams if necessary.

What Ethan has been able to accomplish in a year’s time has been incredible and with every match, I’m proving my skills in the game. I couldn’t be more ecstatic about our pairing, not just because of what we can bring to the division performance wise, but I’ve always loved the concept of mixed gender team ups and I’m glad to be a part of one. Plus Ethan is just a good dude so I’m over the moon excited with our attitudes and skill sets balancing incredibly well and I think we have a real chance to dominate in teams. Sure we’re an unproven entity but, if our singles performances over the past year plus are any indication of the kinds of competitors we are, then we are off to a damn fine start.

– Machine


  1. This is just a ridiculously exciting pairing, with a great team name! If you get Ethan to go all in with you on the entrance front, “Time Machine” is a pretty amazing thematical starting point as far as that’s concerned.

  2. For sure no one better sleep on you guys. You will be elite. I hope u will get the time to game plan different situations. Everyone of those matches mentioned would be exciting and giving us what we missed in the Anarchy tournament would be great.

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