MACHINE MONDAYS: Throwing Shade(s)



Like them or not, almost every competitor has donned a pair of shades at some point. You see this and maybe think “Why? We’re indoors” or Ddaaaaaaamn they’re intimidating.” While occasionally worn by a face looking to act tough or complete an entrance look, sunglasses have been a frequently used tool for a heel. Add a leather jacket, maybe a hat or some gloves and you’ve got yourself a Schmoedown Heel Starter Kit. Hide your excitement and your eyes as I take a look into the use of these shady lenses.

Sunglasses in the Schmoedown… cool? Or completely ridiculous? All puns intended.

Is it just kinda lazy and cliché at this point to throw on some sunglasses and say “Hey I’m cool?” Or “Hey I’m the bad guy?” Perhaps. Does it look ridiculous to be wearing sunglasses indoors? Maybe. Is there a chance that constantly sporting shades could end up being a competitor’s single most defining character trait? I hope not. Glasses of the darker variety are an easy character gag. But it can also be a crutch if you don’t know how you want to be seen.

On the other hand, as annoyingly cliché as they’ve become, a competitor wearing sunglasses can hold some serious benefits.

When I came into this game as a heel, I myself wore the titular villainous ensemble. It provided a sense of protection and mystery. If your opponent can’t see your eyes, it’s more difficult for them to tell what you’re thinking. More work for them to read you or see if they’re getting to you or if you’re totally spacing/blanking out on a question. As someone new to any kind of anything on camera I needed that. Something to provide a confident air, a swagger and a sense of cool in all the chaos of doing this scary, crazy thing.

I’ve since evolved from this look, investing my efforts into more planned out and creative fair. But at least for me, it was nice to have that bit of a shield at the start. I may wear a pair from time to time because who wouldn’t wanna look like they just DGAF? 

Ultimately if you know how to rock them right you can wear the hell outta some sunglasses instead of them wearing you. You can use them to add flair to an already interesting character or they can be the character. Cool, smooth or sinister, whatever you’re going for, sunglasses are a staple of the Schmoedown.

Today’s topic is completely random and ridiculous I know. But there’s enough grouchy people in the league (most of them wear sunglasses). That is to say that the schmoedown is a place to have fun, both for fans and competitors. A bit of silliness goes a long way when it can seem like there’s more and more serious competition. So today I felt like addressing something light, or in this case, dark.

Ok bad joke, I’m done.

~ Machine


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