THIS MEANS QUARRELS: The 10 Biggest Rivalries in the Schmoedown!

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The Schmoedown would not be what it is today without its storylines. And in a lot of those storylines, rivalries are born. They can be one-off, short-lived feuds or they can span entire seasons, but no matter what, they’re incredibly entertaining to watch.

So today, I’m going to take a look at what I consider to be the best rivalries in the Schmoedown!

10. Andrew Ghai vs. Ben Bateman

This rivalry has only begun, which is why it’s practically an honorable mention, but I guarantee that this will turn into one of the greatest rivalries ever. Andrew Ghai and Ben Bateman appeared to be an inseparable duo as Team Action, but after the title match between Who’s the Boss and the Shirewolves the Action Army became divided, as did the two members.

So now the question on everyone’s mind is: Team Ghai or Team Bateman? And which team will actually win?

9. The Viper Squad vs The Fyffe Club

Ever since Emma Fyffe “stole” the Manager Bowl right out from under him, Jay Washington has been scheduling matches for his Viper Squad members against the dominant members of Emma’s Fyffe Club, almost all of which were accepted by the faction. Though the Fyffe Club won the majority of matches the two played each other in, Jeannine The Machine took a singles victory over Emma.

Whether this rivalry continues into Season 6, or if Jay truly has reformed, remains to be seen.

8. Competitors vs Handwriting

I fully expect that a BTS Patreon exclusive will be a seminar taught by professors Lon and Jon Harris about proper penmanship in the Schmoedown. I know this may seem like  a joke answer, and it definitely is, but think back to how many times penmanship has lost competitors a point, sometimes even a game.

But even excluding that, there could be an entire sub-article on the Schmoedown competitors with the worst handwriting. I think Roxy Striar on Collider Live sums is up best: “woof”.

7. William Bibbiani vs. The Horsemen

This is only the first of many mentions that John Rocha will have on this list. When William “The Beast” Bibbiani burst on to the scene at the end of Season 3, he was instantly recruited to join The Four Horsemen (at the time just Matt Knost and John Rocha). However, things didn’t pan out well for the faction, with Bibbiani and Rocha constantly butting heads. Everything came to a climax at the first Collider Collision where, after Rocha lost in the triple-threat match, Bibbiani revealed that he had been secretly working with Ricky Hayberg, and shouted “I BETRAY YOU” at his stablemates.

Since then, Bibbiani vs Rocha seemed to always come close to playing each, but it never actually happened until Season 5, when Rocha took the title off of Bibbs. And as we saw in Anarchy, the pairing of Matt Knost and William Bibbiani proved to be one that resulted in so much bickering that even Emma Fyffe couldn’t control the two. Though the rivalry is over (for now), the Collision moment is more than enough to earn it a spot on this list.

6. Tom Dagnino vs. Emma Fyffe

Since winning the Manager Bowl, Dagnino has had it out for Emma and the Fyffe Club. The two took constant shots at each other in post-match interviews, and eventually played against each other in the Commissioner Bowl at Spectacular III, which Emma won, and in which the teams they managed (Shirewolves and Who’s the Boss) played, which the Shirewolves (Emma’s team) also won.

Really, the whole rivalry between the two was building up to the awards, where the community had to decide which of the two of them was the best manager of the year. Fyffe took the victory, and Dagnino appeared to have some semblance of respect for her, but the two biggest managers in the league are far from done.

5. Mike Kalinowski vs. Brianne Chandler

Remember when Mike was a face? Yeah, me neither, but I do remember the insane rivalry that he had with Miss Movies Brianne Chandler. At the time a part of the Missfits, Brianne crossed paths with Mike a lot in Season 4, playing against each other once in teams and twice in singles. The pair eventually seemed to form some kind of a partnership, but that was short-lived when Mike turned full heel and started KOrruption.

It was at this point that the fully reformed Chandler tried to take down the Killer by threatening the commissioner with a Spectacular walkout unless he told Kalinowski “no”, thus continuing the feud between the two.

4. Ken Napzok vs. Rachel Cushing

Although this was a short-lived rivalry, I put it this high on the list because of the incredible heel turn twist that was pulled off with Ken. After he was revealed to be a member of the Lion’s Den, Rachel tried to appeal to the light in him with a match against Blofeld’s Cat. However, Ken did not show up for the match, forcing Rachel to play a handicap match against the team. It was then revealed that Ken was there, and that he had fully embraced the dark side.

But the Crusher had another trick up her sleeve, and convinced Napzok and Dagnino to play in a match against her and Clarke Wolfe, birthing the Shirewolves. I know most people would put this a lot lower, but the heel turn really bumps this one up on my list.

3. Top 10 vs. The Patriots

Way back in the days of 2016, Top 10 took the team championship from the Schmoes, and were all set to defend them at Spectacular. Their opponents: JTE and Jeff Sneider, one guy who was still an unknown in the Schmoedown, and the other who was having the worst season… ever? So it seemed like a no-brainer that Top 10 would retain their titles, but as we now know, that was not the case.

The Patriots went on to be the most dominant champions ever, and Top 10 tried to take the titles from them twice, losing both times. And of course we have to bring up the infamous Jane Fonda/Respin moment from their third match, solidifying this rivalry as one of the biggest.

2. Team Action/Andrew Ghai vs. Top 10/John Rocha

The Season 4 Ultimate Schmoedown teams tournament brought many things upon the Schmoedown, including the creation of Above the Line and the Wildberries, but by far the greatest gift it bestowed upon us was the more-trash-talk-than-trivia match that was Top 10 vs Team Action I. This was such an amazing rivalry that people wanted, and got, a second match between the two teams in that same year. By now, the end of that match is infamous for Andrew Ghai tackling John Rocha, and a faux-storyline of Ghai being Rocha’s father was created (a storyline of which the Chairman himself is not a fan).

Team Action continued to go at Rocha through the majority of Season 5, with both members playing him in singles matches. It’s going to be interesting to see how this storyline plays out, with Bateman being more of an anti-hero now, and his partner being a member of the Five Horsemen. And of course, Andrew Ghai running his mouth.

And the number 1 biggest rivalry in the Schmoedown is… I mean you already know what it is. What else could it be but…

1. Spinning from the Wheel vs. Spinning from the Pegs

“Spin from the wheel, not the pegs” has become one of the most iconic catchphrases in the Schmoe – nah I’m just kidding!

1. John Rocha vs. Scott Mantz

Of course it’s Rocha vs Mantz, how could it not be? This was the original rivalry, born not from a written storyline, but from the contentious relationship that Rocha and Mantz had on Movie Fights. However, it made for an amazing Schmoedown rivalry, too, with their first match being still the most iconic flub in Schmoedown history, with Rocha missing “Bespin” as the third planet in Empire Strikes Back.

This rivalry continued for the rest of the season, with Rocha getting his rematch and winning, and eventually taking the title. The two haven’t played each other since 2016, so we can only hope that in season 6, we will see the two foes battle once more.

Were there ones that I missed? Let me know what you think are the biggest rivalries ever.

6 COMMENTS

  1. I mean Bibbiani vs Rocha last year was unsettlingy realistic, boy that Collider live episode, I had to take in small pieces, couldn’t bear it in one sitting :).

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