THE BIGGEST AND THE BADDEST: The Top Five Schmoedown Heels!

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What makes a heel? Well folks, the ability to generate heat. Heat is when you see a person and your blood boils. The boo-birds just rain down upon their entrance to the arena. The makeup of a scene goes from hopeful to a dystopian like helplessness in a matter of moments. This group of Schmoedown veterans more than fit the bill. You can disagree with the order but each of these folks deserve their spot on this list.

Honorable Mentions: William Bibbiani & Brianne Chandler

Showmanship. Showmanship. Showmanship. On entrances alone they top the list. Miss Movies has been Harley Quinn, The Bride from Kill Bill, and a Cheerleader from Grease. Bibbs was a henchman of The Horsemen. The man came out to matches dressed like Hannibal Lector. Growl, Growl can be heard from children crying at night.  Both have played the heel well and when it comes to the fashion of being bad these two have no competition. Class, dismissed.

Honorable Mention: Jay Washington

Jay Washington is the classic wrestling heel. In his management of several different groups he brings his heelistic charisma that will make you snicker while pissing you off. The man knows how to work a room. He knows how to make you mad. A tip of the cap to you good sir.

5. Mike Kalinowski

White bread turned stale. Mr DC, left the AC off and turned bad. KOrruption is the NWO of the Schmoedown. The Generation X. Mike knows how to act bad. His actions with KOrruption have set up his teammates to win. Ken Napzok, Chance Ellison all had opportunities win titles. Because of Mike’s interference with the commissioner. Mike is the Inner Geekdom champ and he would have been earlier if it wasn’t for his recruit Mara Knopic taking him down. He knows how to turn the knife when needed and let’s face it, we all kind of like Mr. Vanilla as a mustache twirling villain.

4. Ken Napzok

Ken Napzok wasn’t always a heel, back in 2017 his face team Nerds Watch was riding high in the tag division, but Ken had his eyes on the Lion’s Den. Rachel Cushing started a tag team match against Blofelds Cat alone, thinking Ken must be running late. Only for Ken to show up after the match, to cavort with Grace Hancock and the other members of the Lion’s Den. His deception of ‘The Crusher’ holds my top place as the best heel turn in Schmoedown history. 

3. John Rocha

You can have face Rocha. The original Outlaw was a heel that would not stick around after losing. This man walked right out of the room after dropping the belt to Mark Reilly.  This is the man before his matches that would sit silent staging area, mask in hand, seemingly in trance. Heel Outlaw kept a video of Sam Levine on his phone saying “fuck John Rocha” to keep himself motivated.

2. Andrew Ghai

Andrew Ghai is the Stone Cold Steve Austin of the group. He speared John Rocha following a Team Action loss to top ten. His old man euthanasia tour (TKO’s of Murrell and Reilly) may have ended in an L vs Rocha but his run was highlighted by his verbal shenanigans and middle finger salutes. This man prances around the Collider Offices just telling people how great he is. The man dresses for success. Flips the bird following wins and losses. What a man, what a man, what a mighty, mighty good man.

1. Tom Dagnino

You can hate me now. Mail your hate to Salem Oregon, care of Cory Naught. Tom is a generator of rage. With the Patriots 9-0 run and a year a-top championship ranks, his voice had a platform to showboat like no one else. He’s the Bill Belichick of the Schmoedown and he doesn’t give 2 f**ks what you think. If you don’t believe me look at Who’s the Boss, Bateman and Reilly were sitting pretty with that title shot against the Shirewolves at the Spectacular.

Don’t doubt his mic skills either. During the Trial of JTE he had the classic statement “I am a firm believer of trial and error. My client is on trial and that’s… an error”. The man has the eloquence of Abraham Lincoln and the toughness of Yogi Berra. Just read what the man said after Who’s the Boss took out the Harris Brothers “Things to do in December San Antonio River Walk, Winter Solace at Stonehenge, Rockefeller Center Ice Skating, you’ll catch us at the motherfucking Spectacular”.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Jay only an Honorable Mention and Dagnino at #1!?!!?!?!? Solid list. But man you got it mixed up lol Ghai is #1 for me. And Jay is top 5 cause hes been consistent. Guys like KO and Rocha havent been straight up Heels like Jay.

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