COMMISSIONER? IMPOSSIBLE! – Chairman Kristian Harloff on the New State of the Schmoedown


In the Commissioner’s Bowl, Schmoedown fans were on the edge of their seats to find out what Mike Kalinowski had on Thadd Williams. But before Emma could expose the secret, Thadd shredded the letter in an attempt to save face. Fortunately, Paulie G attorney-at-law was there to tell everyone the truth, and reveal his employer: Kristian Harloff.

Kristian revealed that Thadd tried to conceal a missing page from his contract but he knew about it the whole time, and decided to get his revenge. He congratulated Emma Fyffe on winning the match and hinted she wasn’t to be the only commissioner in the Schmoedown while he appointed himself as Chairman.

With all the new information, fans were left with more questions than the answers we had at Spectacular III. I had the pleasure to interview Kristian clear the air!

TriviaSD: With everything revealed at Spectacular, you were instructing Mike to torture Thadd for the last six months. Why work with Mike in the first place?

Kristian Harloff: When me and Paulie were coming up with our plans, Mike was coming up with the ideas for Anarchy and Innergeekdom. I thought it would great way to get back at Thadd for doing what he did. And, if you think about it, he was responsible for breaking up the Lion’s Den. It was nice to see all this going down while I remained in the shadows.

Are you concerned Mike might retaliate against you for pulling his strings?

Not really. He should have been watching his ass towards the end. But I think he is more concerned with Team Action than me. He hates them, but we’ll see what happens. If he comes after me, let him come.

Many fans believed Brianne Chandler was secretly involved with Mike. Can you confirm whether or not she was working with him?

You’re going to have to ask her about that, but I believe their storyline ended when she tried to console him after his defeat with Team Action. Mike told her off and stormed out, and that’s that.

You planned to become “The Chairman” regardless of who won the Commissioner’s Bowl. What would have happened if Thadd or Tom would have won?

I’d expected if Thadd would have won, he would have shredded the letter that contained the missing page. But Paulie was going to come out anyway to reveal that the contract was for four months and that was it. And with Tom, I think the same would’ve happened. Fortunately, Emma won the match.

How is being “The Chairman” different than being a commissioner? Is it easier?

Easier? No, it’s not easier. I’m seeing how to grow the league and how to grow the Patreon. The commissioners are maintaining their own leagues and matches, and I will oversee them.

Is there any risk of your “Chairman” title being taken away like what happened with Thadd at Spectacular II?

None whatsoever. The whole reason why I gave the commissioner position to Thadd in the first place was to help him out while I was sorting out some personal issues I was going through. He was best known for his team Deep Cuts but not much else. Originally, it was going to either Ken [Napzok] or [Mark] Ellis, but Thadd was a friend and decided to give it to him and he turned around to make up some bullsh*t to keep it for himself.

You mentioned that each commissioner is going to maintain their own league. Does that mean there are going to be four commissioners, one for every league?

[Laughs.] I’ll give you an exclusive. There’s going to be two.

And why have multiple commissioners at this point in the Schmoedown?

You saw what happened during the year with only one commissioner. Thadd couldn’t handle it and with the growth we are having, it’s going to be even more difficult for one person to handle all of it.

What are your goals for the Schmoedown next season?

I want [more] growth. Growth in the Patreon. Growth in the leagues. I want to be able to go to as many cities as we can because to me this isn’t a game; it’s a sport. You don’t see how hard everyone trains for the matches. They train just as hard as someone in any other sport. If a spelling bee can be considered a sport, then why not the Schmoedown?


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