CALLER UNKNOWN: Who Was Mike Kalinowski Talking To…?

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Tuesday’s initial gauntlet matches seemed like they were wrapping up the way most people had expected them to; Bateman and Harris were moving on to face each other, and Macuga was screaming his head off about how he missed a Charlie Sheen question, normal stuff. But then we saw a post-credits scene. And this scene alone has flipped the Schmoedown in a direction that no one could have seen coming.

Obviously the big storyline this season has been KOrruption, and the face of that has been Mike Kalinowski. We’ve seen him manipulate the league in multiple ways in order to get what he wants, whether it be an Innergeekdom tournament where he decides who plays who, or giving himself a title shot after losing in the finals. But this post-credits scene could change everything we thought we knew about KOrruption, because we saw Mike Kalinowski talking to someone, and… you know what, I’ll just transcribe what he said.

“Alright man, yeah, I’m telling you what just happened is exactly what happened… yeah, I mean, after all these things, after months we’ve been doing this thing, pulling the strings, he grew a pair of balls. It came out of nowhere, his balls just dropped right in front of me. I mean, I guess it was pretty impressive but I mean that’s the way he put it down so hey, what do you want me to do…? I mean, you think I should pull the trigger? No? Okay, alright listen… okay… you’re serious… make him dance one more time? Alright man, you got it.”

And just like that, Kalinowski was revealed to be what he always has been: a face. The face of KOrruption, but now we know that there’s someone pulling the strings on the puppet master. So now the question becomes who is the real mastermind behind KOrruption? Who was Mike Kalinowski talking to?

BRIANNE CHANDLER

It seemed like Mike and Brianne had some big things planned when they drove off together at Schmoedown Spectacular II, but because of KOrruption, the duo seems to once again be facing off. Unless this is what they’ve been planning, carefully crafting this elaborate scheme, confusing Thadd left and right to get him to do what they want, all the while Brianne is slipping in to the commissioner spot. We were shown just how much power she had over the league after she won the Free-4-All, so imagine how much power she would have over the league as commish.

It’s also been shown that she is incredibly sneaky with her contracts, so it’s possible that she or Mike may try to slip something by Thadd to give them reign of the Schmoedown. Brianne did, however, appear to be fiercely opposed to Mike giving himself yet another title shot at Spectacular III, so it’s just as likely that these two are still at war with each other, but it’s still entirely possible that this could be the scam to end all scams.

JOHN ROCHA

A cutscene that has stuck with me this entire year was one between Kalinowski and the current singles champion John Rocha.  The scene was only about 20 seconds long, and the words uttered were by the Outlaw (“Hey Mike”). The look they gave each other seemed, however, as though there was some kind of a mutual respect between the two. Maybe there was more to that look than we thought.

Let’s also not forget that it was Mike who gave Rocha an easy path to the singles championship, with Rocha only needing to win two matches before he faced off against Bibbiani. That could have been Rocha manipulating the system in order to get himself “all the belts”. Plus, Rocha is no stranger to the dark side, so having him be behind KOrruption could be an interesting turn back to heel for him. I think it’s unlikely, but we can’t rule it out just yet.

THAT GUY FROM LAST YEAR’S AWARDS

Yeah, you remember him right? During Tom Dagnino’s acceptance speech, this guy came in out of nowhere, calling Dagnino a phony and talking about how he’s the “real deal”. Then he asked Tom (and eventually the crowd at large) “you think you’re the best manager? Well, you’re about to find out, because there is an invasion coming! There is an invasion coming, do you hear me people? You’re not ready for this”.

What if this guy is secretly the manager of KOrruption? We haven’t seen anything like the “invasion” that he teased, heck I don’t think we’ve seen him at all since last year’s awards. I think some people considered this to be a dropped storyline, so him coming in from out of nowhere and revealing that KOrruption was the invasion that he was talking about, and thought it might make a couple people scratch their heads initially, it could be a very interesting twist.

KRISTIAN HARLOFF

“Whoa whoa whoa, let me stop you right there. Harloff? Come on, no way, how would that work?” Well, hear me out. Since Schmoedown Spectacular II, Kristian has been vying to become the commissioner. Using tricky clauses in contracts, the current commissioner Thadd has stayed in power this entire season, much to Kristian’s dismay. So what if Kristian has secretly been working with Mike in order to take back the commissioner position?

How did Mike get the dirt on Thadd? Maybe it was a bit of information Kristian got from him while interviewing Thadd for commissioner. Mike has been targeting Thadd in particular, and who would have the most reason to also target him? The guy who got his position stolen from Thadd. Kristian has also been incredibly vocal about his support for what Kalinowski has been doing to the league, and though he has countered that by saying he doesn’t love the way he is going about it, that could just be a ruse to throw people off his scent. If it’s revealed that Kristian has been the mastermind behind KOrruption, hiding in plain sight this entire season, it would be a truly incredible twist, and it would create a very interesting dynamic for season 6.

Who do you think Mike Kalinowski was talking to? Leave a comment of who you think it was and why.

9 COMMENTS

  1. Harloff is the man who makes the most sense from a story perspective. He has not been happy with Thadd and wants his job back. I could see this setting up a match between the two at the spectacular. My off the wall theory that it is Cobbster. We had seen him go heel and abandoned the young bucks last season, but he never returned. At the beginning of this season he was managing Cody who left him to join Lon. Cobbster was not happy about this. He is always around in the background and I could envision him digging up dirt on Thadd. Cobbster has never won a match as a competitor or manager. I could understand why he would want to cause chaos in the league.

  2. I was thinking it was Darth Harloff for awhile. Finding a way for him to regain his title back as Commissioner and to exact revenge on Thadd. Im hoping its revealed during the Spectacular, ending in a Commissioner match.

  3. I also think it’s Harloff. He has the most motivation out of everybody when it comes to the Commissionership of the Schmoedown.

  4. I heard a theory a while ago that it was Harloff or Ellis….I’m more and more thinking it’s Ellis. It would be such a good twist to reveal the wacky comedian go evil.

  5. I’m Strongly leaning towards Kristian, but the only caveat to that, is that I think What Mike has over Thadd is a loop pool on the Commish contract that can make him loose the job, so if it was Harloff and his objective was to “take back” the league why do it the long route. Anyway, looking forward for the reveal. Great reading.

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